you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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