he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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