If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
