I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
