she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
So vagazzling was a success
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
