Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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