Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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