so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
