I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
