oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Randomize
