I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
