I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
