it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
