dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
