i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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