So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
