i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
