his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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