bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize