what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Randomize
