The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
