never play flip cup with pint glasses
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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