Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
