I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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