i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize