I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
