so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
