Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
