You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
