i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
