WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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