ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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