I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize