Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize