it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
