operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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