What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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