I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Send help, water and tortillas.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
