TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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