I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
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Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
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A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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