What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
