i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
