just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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