Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize