that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
