Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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