I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
