i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
