I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
