I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I wish you could order shots online.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
