hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
we're chasing vodka with high fives
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
