Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
