how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
