did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Randomize
