My first STD was from a foam party
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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