Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
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the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
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Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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