Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Come see our sink grown plant.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
