You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
