brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
