Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
