they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
