and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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