Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
